Intuition Rules (Dr Harry Zehnwirth)

I see hundreds of parents every year with young babies. Many of those parents are sleep deprived and exhausted. They look for rules in the attempt to find much needed sleep.

As health professionals we can give reassurance whether or not everything is okay in a health assessment.

I am concerned that parents are being put under added pressure of UNDERSTANDING their baby's cries and reading every conceivable publication to find the rules on what to do about it.

As a Paediatrician (and a dad of 4 who has been there!) I suggest parents trust their intuition more and expect less of the cognitive processing of the plethora of information. Don't expect your brain to process responses that your instinct can do better. Follow your heart.

Sure, take in the interesting stuff presented in books, magazines and the media. If it strikes a chord within you, there is probably something relevant to you and your baby. It is good to identify and reflect, but not berate and feel pressed to absorb more. Experience and intuition will help you as much as all the information.

Seek guidance from a health care professional who you trust when you need to. Listen to guidance that is offered, but they are only guideposts. Nothing in parenting is concrete (again, as a dad who has been there!). Just when you think you have it worked out, something will change - baby's illness; holidays; back to paid employment; crises, both minor and major.

You will need to adjust and readjust your parenting barometer. To do this you need to trust your intuition. Yours...Mum and Dad. You have known your baby 9 months longer than anyone else.

This was reiterated the other day in our practice when one of our Paediatric nurses popped in with her 11 day old baby boy. He was whimpering a little and his mum, Maree, predicted a crescendo of squeaks before he would abruptly settle again. He did just as his mum had said. No medical evidence, no predictive behaviour patterns outlined in the journals of psychology or paediatrics...just mum knowing her baby and comfortable in that knowledge.

Use some structure when you feel overwhelmed. You can use simple prompts for yourself that provide guideposts, like SMS your baby: Swaddling; Movement and Sounds.

Use these prompts to help you take a deep breath and feel confident in your understanding of what is right for you and your baby. But don't flog yourselves with the imperatives, must-do's and essential knowledge. You know your baby.

Parenting is an evolution from embryo to baby to child to adolescent and into adulthood. There are common threads of understanding and community norms, but no one rule or language. Trust your instinct during that evolution of physical, social, emotional, cultural needs. Trust that what feels right for you and your baby is the right way.

Intuition rules supreme. Babies get it!

Dr Harry Zehnwirth is a Specialist Paediatrician at Ballarat Paediatric Clinic. For more information visit www.soundsforsilence.com.au.

Release Date: 19th February 2008

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